Fact. There are no driver’s more aggressive than mother’s with prams. I never cared for their smug expressions or the way they would plough through crowds, secure in the knowledge that all before them would scatter….
Ironic then that these very same mummy drivers on the road, travel so slowly and tentatively in their tank-like SUVs that their licenses should be taken away.
So what is the transformation, I really didn’t understand it until it happened to me.
Being a working Mum is tough. Now I work nine days a fortnight, I often feel I don’t have enough time with Jack to be the best mother I can be, whilst also feeling I need to dedicate more time to my career.
To restore the balance and get back some time with my son, I have gotten into the habit of racing home as fast as I can. I have become the very thing I once despised!
The moment I leave childcare, I am at one with the pram, racing lines round corners, slipstreaming the burly pedestrians in front of me, and making outrageous takeovers while narrowly missing feet with professional malice.
There is no time for course corrections at these speeds and if some sluggish bi-ped is too slow to move, he’s going to get a pram clip. If some half-speed, phone engrossed person is in my path, well then they better get their head back in the real world because I will run them down! If there is pram-contact, I give the victim my most winning smile, my cute, apologetic shoulder shrug and I’m off, cursing the valuable seconds lost.
My PB from Jack pick-up, to Martin Place station is 6 mins 27 and that my friends is quick! Jack loves it, singing woo-woo noises as he tries to lift his head from the back of the pram!
Following the hairpin corner from Castlereagh Street, the final approach to Martin Place station lifts is a long straight where maximum pram speed can be achieved. At this point it’s vital to scan for other prams making a bee-line for the finish. Only the chosen few will get in the limited space of the lift.
Finally I take one last shameless dash, and though there are other mums determined to sprint to the finish, my racing pram of choice is the Babyzen YoYo, and it’s so light and responsive, I almost feel sorry for the other pram drivers as I rip by them to take the last spot in the lift.
For my efforts, I’m home a little earlier and get to enjoy more time with my baby boy before putting him to bed. For me that’s worth “Running the Gauntlet” every day. So if you find yourself walking through Martin Place around 5.30pm, get your face out of your phone because I might run you down!